My sister and I came up with this one a few years ago when we realised we would be facing another family Christmas, but with a difference… We could both drink to make it bearable.
Drink if Grand parents lie about the favourite grandchildren’s intelligence.
Why do we have such a grudge against a 5 & 7 year old you ask? Well because when the first one was born they became the favourite…
Drink if you hear ‘oh barry’
Grandma when Grandpa says something remotely out of line with her idea of acceptable. Note: these are usually the only funny things he says.
Drink if someone panics about seating.
Will we have enough chairs? Is there enough table space inside and out? Drink up.
Drink if a grand parent says ‘Truuee?’
Usually said anytime you say something that can be readily learned from google… Or you know life outside a small town.
Drink if a story about the old days gets told.
Is the ‘wallum’ a word that our great grandma made up or is this something synonymous with ‘the bush’ for everyone?
Finish your drink if it takes more then 10 minutes to tell.
Because of side notes, question time or one of us has tried and failed to change the subject.
Drink if anything casually racist or homophobic is said.
Again, small towns are interesting if you’ve never left. Luckily my sister and I did.
Honestly the Christmas lunch is like the apocalypse. Grab a bottle, hunker down and pray for daylight. Last year we heard a 20 minute conversation on the intricacies of bee keeping, A story about horse riding from the great grandma’s younger years that we’ve heard 12 times & a wildly racist term for an asian person thrown casually into the conversation. Bring It On