Skip to content
Advertisements

Gay Dating is Hard

Gay Dating

The first same sex marriage can officially take place on the 9th of January which means the #HusbandHunt is officially on. One problem though Dating is Hard Y’all. You’ve read some of my hilarious dating fails, but here’s the thing.

I’ve Never had a boyfriend

WHAT

I know right, its shocking. With a nasty sarcastic streak and trouble letting people in who would have thought it? Do I stink of desperation… probably. I do tend to jump in way too quickly and get emotionally vested before it’s warranted. I spent a very long time while I was in the closet convincing myself that I could never have a boyfriend and I had to get comfortable with that idea. Now that that’s changed and having a boyfriend is totally an option, I didn’t realise how important a romantic relationship is to me.

When people ask I joke and say ‘Oh no, I’m way too emotionally damaged for that’. But honestly if I could get away with it I’d have faked a pregnancy by now. The strong independent guy in me say’s don’t worry about it and concentrate on being happy in yourself. But there’s a part of me that starts to wonder. At what point does it start to get weird that I’ve never actually had someone who I would refer to as my boyfriend?

This isn’t a pity post, I don’t want comments with things like ‘keep your chin up’ or ‘you’ll find someone, don’t worry’. This post is just to reiterate that Dating is Hard. At this point I’m kind of like ‘are we doing this or not?’ Because I’d like to cut you quickly rather than get too invested.

Everyone’s walking around with emotional baggage and I think there’s something in my pheromones that attracts guys recently out of relationships.  Last Friday I hooked up with a guy (no post about this one yet) who agreed to have coffee a couple of days later. It came out over coffee that he was 6 weeks out of a 5 year relationship. I ain’t your rebound buddy.

But because I’d like to be optimistic I’ve already started planning my wedding on Pinterest husband to be determined at a later date.

Living Gay Brisbane Pinterest

Follow me on Bloglovin or find me on Twitter.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Check out my Redbubble Store.

gay pride shirt, men holding hands
Does This Drink Taste Like Piss

Grindr Date Fail

Why Gay Dating is a Disappointment

I hate your stupid face.

Advertisements

25 thoughts on “Gay Dating is Hard Leave a comment

  1. Do the sex first and if that works ok, then see if you are compatible in other areas. You may make a friend, a fuck buddy or a life long companion, or a combination of all or some.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Based strictly on A) this post; and, B) my personal experience, I’d put this complaint squarely in the “its not you, it’s them” category.
    Most gay men are selfish emotional retards.
    I’ve said it for 25 years and it’s only getting more true as we’ve evolved from “Ruth Annes” to websites to apps as our options for meeting other guys. The outcome is usually something along the lines of “sex first”, which…I mean c’mon…let’s do that, it’s fun.
    Sadly, most gay guys – I call them Lost Boys – run off for more fun. These emotionally retarded men lack the more sane wiring that you describe as investing too quickly.
    But really, I think the fuck first paradigm is probably a combination of the coming out process and also shaking off the puritanical teachings we grow up with that tell us to wait for marriage.
    Both are forms of repression.
    OMG, I’m writing a blog in your comment stream! Sorry!
    Andrew makes a good point in his comment about sex having the potential for a steady fb sitch, long term friendship or more…most gay guys just aren’t able to fulfill that potential…they’re too selfish.
    Don’t make their problem yours, but don’t give up on your ideals, the old “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” trope isn’t a recipe for success, it’s giving up on your future happiness. Just keep your eyes open for that one guy with potential, even if he’s poor or a little fat or some other trivial gay dating disqualifier.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ok here’s my thought out response.
      I sometimes wonder why gay men tend to be so awful at relationships. I think we have so much emotional baggage from growing up gay, that it never quite goes away.
      Also, heterosexual people start dating at 15-16. So by 25-26 they’ve had roughly 10 years of dating experience.
      I think gay men don’t settle down until later is because we have started dating later than normal: early twenties.
      I hate to say it but there is also the thought of ‘why have just this one, when I can have as many as I want’.
      Idk I just get really disheartened by dating.

      Liked by 3 people

  3. Life, and almost every aspect of it, is indeed difficult. Committing yourself to the life of another (regardless of sexuality) is equally as challenging. The search for the “perfect” (if there ever is one) man can be both fun and exciting. Enjoy the search and happy hunting! Naked hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dude, I totally agree! Everyone I meet is somehow emotionally damaged from a previous relationship. I always said, “I think we’re all just a bunch of broken hearts looking for someone who resembles the pieces that we lost.” Dating sucks, and people never understand when I joke and say I just want to fall in love and have a husband. I hate investing my time and emotions in someone just to have it all blow up in my face. I’m exhausted. Keep the faith though! I mean, we have to.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. This is so true. I agree with the comment from galby68. Most of gay men are emotionally retard and selfish. The selfish part is insane, but I kind of believe this also happen to a successful alpha straight guy. On the other hand I’ve been thinking lately if there is something wrong with me, but when I come see these posts and comments I come back and realize that I’m not the only one ha.

    There is also this thing that we don’t have a role model that we can follow- but it’s coming on now.. and yet, I read about the “Coolidge” effect where some people can’t have sex with the same partner overtime caused by porn and the gay industry that over expose sex. But ah well.. who am I kidding, right?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I, also, never had a boyfriend. I was just thinking about this tonight after being with friends go from one relationship to another. Even in some cases, divorce then marriage soon after. Dating for some people seem very easy but I also see them in an unhappy relationships. Just when I think I met “THE ONE,” something interferes (like they already have a boyfriend or moving away) or they are not interested in same thing I am. Yes, dating is so hard. Do you think internet/dating apps made it worse?

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: